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This was a request from one of my boys. A place to get short answers to questions. Feel free so send
me questions, via email using the mail box above. I'll answer them openly and honestly.
me questions, via email using the mail box above. I'll answer them openly and honestly.
Ask Auntie Rhi
1. What's your favorite implement?
That's difficult in that over the years I have amassed quite a collection as you can see in the Gallery in
the Implement folder. “The right tool for the right job” my Grandpa use to say and it holds true here. A
lot depends on the tolerance of the client.
2. What's your favorite scenario?
That's easier, I enjoy the variety, and most of all enjoy creating the scene with the intensity that the
naughty boy or girl will best relate to.
3. What's the most severe spanking you've ever given?
I have found that “severe” is very different to each individual. I don't have a preconceived notion of how
severe a person must take, and yet, again I want it to be as intense as the client desires it to be. There
have been a few occasions that I have stopped a session before the client was really ready for me to
stop. Always based on the condition of the bottom. I don't want to break the skin, nor even have it
weeping.. or there is the condition knows as leather bottom, where the bottom becomes swollen and
takes on an orange peel texture. At that point it's numb anyway. The condition of the bottom is
important to me regardless of whether you have opted for “light red fading after a short time” or “marks
and bruises lasting several days” and anywhere in between. That's why I don't spank, very long, with
pants or undies up... I need to see your bottom to be able to ascertain how the session is going.
4. There seems to be several ways to administer a mouth soaping (dry soap in mouth, making the
disciplined wet soap their own mouth, Auntie wet soap washing the mouth out, etc.). Do you believe in
administering mouth soapings? How would you wash my mouth with soap for lying about rummaging
through your panty drawer?
I do believe in mouth soapings. Usually what I do, is wet a small bar of ivory soap under the faucet and
then have the naughty boy hold it in his mouth for a specific amount of time. Some of which is spent
listing to a scolding for lying, or foul language, or disrespect, what ever the offense. I have on occasion
used liquid soap and a washcloth squirted the soap in the washcloth and proceeded to run it on the inside
of the naughty boy's mouth and on his tongue, Ms. Betty taught me that one. Both are very effective.
5. What is your favorite implement to punish naughty boys and girls? My fantasy implement is the
wooden hairbrush (especially the Vermont Country Store Brush) followed closely by the wooden spoon
and then hand. The switch too for some reason although the cane does not "excite" me at all for some
reason. Something about the dread coming over you when cutting your own switch.
I'm kind of like a mechanic, I prefer the right tool for the right job, lol. However, I generally give a good
warm up with my hand to just about everyone, then go to a brush or other small paddle type
implements. I love having a boy cut his own switch for just the reason you stated.... there is an
anticipation that cannot be matched with anything else. Also the back of the legs is the best place to use
a switch. I learned that from my Granny, lol.
6. Do you believe that naughty boys and girls should, at all times, show Auntie respect by answering
her questions with a Yes Ma'am or No Ma'am? If it doesn't matter to you I would like to have it told to
me in the session and reminded when I fail to do so. Would there be a consequence for each
infraction? What would be the punishment?
Absolutely, I think boys and good, should at all time, respond to their elders with yes ma'am or sir.. if
not they are naughty and in a situation where they are already being held accountable would receive 5
swats with each failure to respond appropriately.
7. I know, when reading about spanking experiences, that spankees often say they cannot cry as a
result of their discipline. I have always felt that not only tears but a good sobbing should come by the
end of a good session over the knee. Do your typical naughty nieces and nephews cry or sob during a
discipline session? And do you believe that real tears SHOULD be a part of a true "lesson learned"? In
one of my previous sessions, the Disciplinarian (who was really more of a mistress than a mommy or
auntie) stopped when I was on the verge of tears. I really want to know what it feels like to reach the
point of losing complete control of my emotions and truly feel the loving effects of being punished for
my misdeeds because someone cares enough to discipline me. Real tears should not be the ending but
rather the "beginning" for the Disciplinarian to know that I am truly sorry and will try not to do that
misdeed again. I believe that uncontrollable sobbing will actually validate that someone really cares. Not
sure if this is really something that I can obtain but would like to. Any thoughts on this Ma'am?
Tears are a real individual thing. Some people cry easily, some are able to cry after a relatively emotional
spanking, and some people try their whole life to be able to let go enough to cry. I don't "require" tears
any more than I "require" a certain severity. I tailor each experience to the individual. I believe that tears
are much more tied to the emotional involvement than to just the pain. Especially with males, there
seems to have to be some underlying guilt that they associate with the spanking at hand, the need to
release that guilt. I do believe that crying is very cathartic and it can be very good for the ones that are
able to achieve it. Even with out tears, many times people feel that a weight has been lifted as they have
been punished and no have a clear slate again.
8. How do you feel about "taking someone by the ear" or "ear pulling" or whatever is the act of grabbing
the naughty one by the ear and taking them to the corner or the punishment chair or whatever? I believe
this is essential when someone is caught "red handed" misbehaving and immediate punishment is forth
coming. Do you use this technique? If so, when?
I've used ear puling, or grabbed an arm or just ordered the person to the bed room... again it's an
individual preference. Just like most want me to pull down their pants and undies but a few want me to
tell them to do it. Some want to be ordered to undress entirely and some really like the experience of
pants at their ankles. I also use a chair, or a bed, generally start otk either way the second phase might
be over the back of a chair or standing at the table.. ..again it's all individual driven.
9. What are your thoughts on Corner time? Do you use it before, during or after....or a combination of
one or all? I believe that a good hug should follow a disciplinary spanking but is it before corner time?
After? Do you have a penalty for looking around while in the corner? What about rubbing? Or talking?
And what is the punishment? Additional swats? A new session with a paddle or belt?
I tend to use corner time between sessions of spankings, so I don't hug till the end. There is no looking
around, talking nor touching of the bottom while in corner time. Since it in the middle the naughty
person knows there is more coming, they don't tend to get out of line, lol.
10. Scolding. This is probably the most important aspect of the discipline session for me. A good
scolding can get someone in the proper mindset for the discipline. I am sure you scold but do you give
a good one before the spanking? After too? During the spanking? Also, do you tell the naughty one
what is going to happen next like "you are going over my knee for a good dose of the hairbrush" or "I
am going to wash your mouth out with soap young man"? If I were ever to be so lucky as to have a
permanent Disciplinarian, I would hope that scoldings are developed so that I am in tears before I am
actually over her knee. I prefer there to be no yelling just good firm talking with finger pointed, etc. Do
you stand over the naughty boy/girl while they are sitting? What is your style?
Yes I do scold and try to tailor the scolding to the clients needs. I'm not a yeller, just firm scolding
reminding the naughty individual of just what brought them across my lap. That can continue during the
spanking or not, as people prefer that both ways.
11. Do you prefer OTK/over the lap? What are your other preferred positions?
Again I tailor the experience to the individual. I have done otk with me in a chair, over one knee on the
bed for upper body support, standing, over a desk or table. I like the variety so many options are
available.
12. I was wondering if you had someone that lives with you that you discipline for regular life
transgression? (I am not hinting that for myself). If so, what are some of the things he/she is
disciplined for and how often do you punish them?
I do not, currently, have anyone that lives with me, but it would definately be part of our relationship.
13. Do you get many requests from naughty girls? I do not know if there are very many ladies seeking
this sort of thing. How many do you think you have disciplined over the years? Are you just as strict
with them?
I do not have near as many female clients as I do men but over the years probably 10 or so. I have two
currently that are in behavior plan programs so come regularly. I am just a strict with them.
14. Have you always had this interest? When did you administer your first spanking? I assumed that
you were spanked by your Granny. When was your last time over someone’s knee (I am not a switch
just curious, I would like to think that Disciplinarians have been on the other side of the hairbrush at one
time).
Except for a couple of spankings as a child I have not been on the other side of the lap, lol. I started out
in a pretty vanilla relationship. He asked ask if I could consider a domestic discipline relationship and I
had no idea, so I started doing research. Joined a couple of groups, met a couple of wonderful spankers
and went from there. The DD part was fine in our relationship, but later he wanted full immersion into
mother/ baby relationship, like diapered 24/7, baby furniture et al, and that wasn’t want I wanted in a
LTR, so we parted company.
15. Have you ever made someone write lines like "I have been very naughty......."? If so, usually how
many lines? Do you do it before the spanking or do you prefer the naughty one doing them while sitting
a red bottom?
I have used line writing as an adjunct to a spanking punishment, usually between phases of a spanking
so they are indeed sitting on a red bottom. The number, of course depends on the severity of the
infraction… Some times I even make them sit on the "thinking mat" on their red bottom which is a
plastic mat with nubbies on it. Not a comfortable sit when your bottom is sore. The number can vary
16. Have you ever "grounded" someone as part of a session or in real life?
Not in a session as those are just an hour to 2 hours, but in a behavior plan, for sure. Being grounded
from computer except to talk with me, or only 1 hour of TV at night , it all depends on what goal we're
working on or what they've done to earn the punishment.
17. You mentioned the girls you currently discipline being part of a discipline program, what does that
entail? Do they report misbehavior to you and you determine the punishment? Are they subject to other
things like mouth soapings?
A behavior plan is the same for male or females, in that we set up real life goals, rules, consequences
and rewards. It depends on what they need in their life and the consequences can include mouth
soapings as well as other types of requirements, like sitting on the thinking mat any time they are at the
computer. It's all individualized.
18. I know you tailor discipline to the disciplinee but can you describe a typical spanking? How many
with your hand in the warm-up, how many with the brush, etc.? Just an estimate (if you don't mind).
I really can't give you an estimate of how many swats I give with my hand or any implement. I generally
do start with the hand for a good bottom warming but how many that takes really depends entirely on
the person. To be honest I’ve never really counted in a hand spanking. I watch the body language as
well as the color and condition of the bottom and gauge the intensity and duration based on those two
cues. Even with the more severe implements, such as the cane or school paddle, 6 for some is a lot and
for others just a start.
19. Have you ever spanked someone in public? What about threatening someone with "when we get
home you are going over my knee" in front of a pretty young lady or something similar?
I have been in situations where I could do that. One time in front of a sales clerk. The boys face blushed
immediately and she looked surprised but kind of smiled, lol. I have spanked a naughty boy in the back
seat of the car in the parking lot at a mall a couple of times. Haven't I Frank… lol.
That's difficult in that over the years I have amassed quite a collection as you can see in the Gallery in
the Implement folder. “The right tool for the right job” my Grandpa use to say and it holds true here. A
lot depends on the tolerance of the client.
2. What's your favorite scenario?
That's easier, I enjoy the variety, and most of all enjoy creating the scene with the intensity that the
naughty boy or girl will best relate to.
3. What's the most severe spanking you've ever given?
I have found that “severe” is very different to each individual. I don't have a preconceived notion of how
severe a person must take, and yet, again I want it to be as intense as the client desires it to be. There
have been a few occasions that I have stopped a session before the client was really ready for me to
stop. Always based on the condition of the bottom. I don't want to break the skin, nor even have it
weeping.. or there is the condition knows as leather bottom, where the bottom becomes swollen and
takes on an orange peel texture. At that point it's numb anyway. The condition of the bottom is
important to me regardless of whether you have opted for “light red fading after a short time” or “marks
and bruises lasting several days” and anywhere in between. That's why I don't spank, very long, with
pants or undies up... I need to see your bottom to be able to ascertain how the session is going.
4. There seems to be several ways to administer a mouth soaping (dry soap in mouth, making the
disciplined wet soap their own mouth, Auntie wet soap washing the mouth out, etc.). Do you believe in
administering mouth soapings? How would you wash my mouth with soap for lying about rummaging
through your panty drawer?
I do believe in mouth soapings. Usually what I do, is wet a small bar of ivory soap under the faucet and
then have the naughty boy hold it in his mouth for a specific amount of time. Some of which is spent
listing to a scolding for lying, or foul language, or disrespect, what ever the offense. I have on occasion
used liquid soap and a washcloth squirted the soap in the washcloth and proceeded to run it on the inside
of the naughty boy's mouth and on his tongue, Ms. Betty taught me that one. Both are very effective.
5. What is your favorite implement to punish naughty boys and girls? My fantasy implement is the
wooden hairbrush (especially the Vermont Country Store Brush) followed closely by the wooden spoon
and then hand. The switch too for some reason although the cane does not "excite" me at all for some
reason. Something about the dread coming over you when cutting your own switch.
I'm kind of like a mechanic, I prefer the right tool for the right job, lol. However, I generally give a good
warm up with my hand to just about everyone, then go to a brush or other small paddle type
implements. I love having a boy cut his own switch for just the reason you stated.... there is an
anticipation that cannot be matched with anything else. Also the back of the legs is the best place to use
a switch. I learned that from my Granny, lol.
6. Do you believe that naughty boys and girls should, at all times, show Auntie respect by answering
her questions with a Yes Ma'am or No Ma'am? If it doesn't matter to you I would like to have it told to
me in the session and reminded when I fail to do so. Would there be a consequence for each
infraction? What would be the punishment?
Absolutely, I think boys and good, should at all time, respond to their elders with yes ma'am or sir.. if
not they are naughty and in a situation where they are already being held accountable would receive 5
swats with each failure to respond appropriately.
7. I know, when reading about spanking experiences, that spankees often say they cannot cry as a
result of their discipline. I have always felt that not only tears but a good sobbing should come by the
end of a good session over the knee. Do your typical naughty nieces and nephews cry or sob during a
discipline session? And do you believe that real tears SHOULD be a part of a true "lesson learned"? In
one of my previous sessions, the Disciplinarian (who was really more of a mistress than a mommy or
auntie) stopped when I was on the verge of tears. I really want to know what it feels like to reach the
point of losing complete control of my emotions and truly feel the loving effects of being punished for
my misdeeds because someone cares enough to discipline me. Real tears should not be the ending but
rather the "beginning" for the Disciplinarian to know that I am truly sorry and will try not to do that
misdeed again. I believe that uncontrollable sobbing will actually validate that someone really cares. Not
sure if this is really something that I can obtain but would like to. Any thoughts on this Ma'am?
Tears are a real individual thing. Some people cry easily, some are able to cry after a relatively emotional
spanking, and some people try their whole life to be able to let go enough to cry. I don't "require" tears
any more than I "require" a certain severity. I tailor each experience to the individual. I believe that tears
are much more tied to the emotional involvement than to just the pain. Especially with males, there
seems to have to be some underlying guilt that they associate with the spanking at hand, the need to
release that guilt. I do believe that crying is very cathartic and it can be very good for the ones that are
able to achieve it. Even with out tears, many times people feel that a weight has been lifted as they have
been punished and no have a clear slate again.
8. How do you feel about "taking someone by the ear" or "ear pulling" or whatever is the act of grabbing
the naughty one by the ear and taking them to the corner or the punishment chair or whatever? I believe
this is essential when someone is caught "red handed" misbehaving and immediate punishment is forth
coming. Do you use this technique? If so, when?
I've used ear puling, or grabbed an arm or just ordered the person to the bed room... again it's an
individual preference. Just like most want me to pull down their pants and undies but a few want me to
tell them to do it. Some want to be ordered to undress entirely and some really like the experience of
pants at their ankles. I also use a chair, or a bed, generally start otk either way the second phase might
be over the back of a chair or standing at the table.. ..again it's all individual driven.
9. What are your thoughts on Corner time? Do you use it before, during or after....or a combination of
one or all? I believe that a good hug should follow a disciplinary spanking but is it before corner time?
After? Do you have a penalty for looking around while in the corner? What about rubbing? Or talking?
And what is the punishment? Additional swats? A new session with a paddle or belt?
I tend to use corner time between sessions of spankings, so I don't hug till the end. There is no looking
around, talking nor touching of the bottom while in corner time. Since it in the middle the naughty
person knows there is more coming, they don't tend to get out of line, lol.
10. Scolding. This is probably the most important aspect of the discipline session for me. A good
scolding can get someone in the proper mindset for the discipline. I am sure you scold but do you give
a good one before the spanking? After too? During the spanking? Also, do you tell the naughty one
what is going to happen next like "you are going over my knee for a good dose of the hairbrush" or "I
am going to wash your mouth out with soap young man"? If I were ever to be so lucky as to have a
permanent Disciplinarian, I would hope that scoldings are developed so that I am in tears before I am
actually over her knee. I prefer there to be no yelling just good firm talking with finger pointed, etc. Do
you stand over the naughty boy/girl while they are sitting? What is your style?
Yes I do scold and try to tailor the scolding to the clients needs. I'm not a yeller, just firm scolding
reminding the naughty individual of just what brought them across my lap. That can continue during the
spanking or not, as people prefer that both ways.
11. Do you prefer OTK/over the lap? What are your other preferred positions?
Again I tailor the experience to the individual. I have done otk with me in a chair, over one knee on the
bed for upper body support, standing, over a desk or table. I like the variety so many options are
available.
12. I was wondering if you had someone that lives with you that you discipline for regular life
transgression? (I am not hinting that for myself). If so, what are some of the things he/she is
disciplined for and how often do you punish them?
I do not, currently, have anyone that lives with me, but it would definately be part of our relationship.
13. Do you get many requests from naughty girls? I do not know if there are very many ladies seeking
this sort of thing. How many do you think you have disciplined over the years? Are you just as strict
with them?
I do not have near as many female clients as I do men but over the years probably 10 or so. I have two
currently that are in behavior plan programs so come regularly. I am just a strict with them.
14. Have you always had this interest? When did you administer your first spanking? I assumed that
you were spanked by your Granny. When was your last time over someone’s knee (I am not a switch
just curious, I would like to think that Disciplinarians have been on the other side of the hairbrush at one
time).
Except for a couple of spankings as a child I have not been on the other side of the lap, lol. I started out
in a pretty vanilla relationship. He asked ask if I could consider a domestic discipline relationship and I
had no idea, so I started doing research. Joined a couple of groups, met a couple of wonderful spankers
and went from there. The DD part was fine in our relationship, but later he wanted full immersion into
mother/ baby relationship, like diapered 24/7, baby furniture et al, and that wasn’t want I wanted in a
LTR, so we parted company.
15. Have you ever made someone write lines like "I have been very naughty......."? If so, usually how
many lines? Do you do it before the spanking or do you prefer the naughty one doing them while sitting
a red bottom?
I have used line writing as an adjunct to a spanking punishment, usually between phases of a spanking
so they are indeed sitting on a red bottom. The number, of course depends on the severity of the
infraction… Some times I even make them sit on the "thinking mat" on their red bottom which is a
plastic mat with nubbies on it. Not a comfortable sit when your bottom is sore. The number can vary
16. Have you ever "grounded" someone as part of a session or in real life?
Not in a session as those are just an hour to 2 hours, but in a behavior plan, for sure. Being grounded
from computer except to talk with me, or only 1 hour of TV at night , it all depends on what goal we're
working on or what they've done to earn the punishment.
17. You mentioned the girls you currently discipline being part of a discipline program, what does that
entail? Do they report misbehavior to you and you determine the punishment? Are they subject to other
things like mouth soapings?
A behavior plan is the same for male or females, in that we set up real life goals, rules, consequences
and rewards. It depends on what they need in their life and the consequences can include mouth
soapings as well as other types of requirements, like sitting on the thinking mat any time they are at the
computer. It's all individualized.
18. I know you tailor discipline to the disciplinee but can you describe a typical spanking? How many
with your hand in the warm-up, how many with the brush, etc.? Just an estimate (if you don't mind).
I really can't give you an estimate of how many swats I give with my hand or any implement. I generally
do start with the hand for a good bottom warming but how many that takes really depends entirely on
the person. To be honest I’ve never really counted in a hand spanking. I watch the body language as
well as the color and condition of the bottom and gauge the intensity and duration based on those two
cues. Even with the more severe implements, such as the cane or school paddle, 6 for some is a lot and
for others just a start.
19. Have you ever spanked someone in public? What about threatening someone with "when we get
home you are going over my knee" in front of a pretty young lady or something similar?
I have been in situations where I could do that. One time in front of a sales clerk. The boys face blushed
immediately and she looked surprised but kind of smiled, lol. I have spanked a naughty boy in the back
seat of the car in the parking lot at a mall a couple of times. Haven't I Frank… lol.
Auntie Rhi, I hope you're capable of stricter discipline than shown on the 2 trailers on your web site.
Paddling over clothes and a light switching are a total waste. Maybe appropriate for a 6 year old but
useless for an adult male. Strict Gram
Well, thanks for your perspective. The severity of a spanking, I deliver for a client, is dependent on the
tolerance of the client and what type of spanking they deserve. I'm sure you have your own methods,
however I spank a variety of people and have found that what is and what isn't a "total waste" is
different for each individual. To each his/her own. If it is part of a behavior plan, a punishment session is
very different.
Take care, Auntie Rhi
Hi,
I found your site and found it to be most honest and sincere. I am primarily an understanding person
willing and able to provide guidance, mentoring and discipline. While I have done so for several friends
over the years, I don’t have many opportunities. When I have, I too have been adamant that the
discipline provided is of a parental and disciplinary nature and sexual behavior is not tolerated or in any
way a part of the process. I have however experienced situations where my charge has become
aroused. Have you had this experience and if so, how have you handled it?
R.(male spanker)
Hi R,
I am glad you enjoyed the web site and thanks for the compliment.
You pose a complicated question. Strictly physically speaking, there can be a case made that since the
"sit spot" area is fed by the same nerves that supply the genitals, stimulation by spanking would naturally
create a sensation in that area. So it's not entirely a surprise.
Of course, everyone is unique in their own needs for this experience and fine tuning. Many psychology
scholars still feel that all children's natural first inkling of sexuality revolves around their opposite sex
parent. Not in a perverted way at all, but naturally how they begin to view, experience and come to see
as a role model for that specific male or female role.
In my experience, the emotional connection is every bit as intense as the actual hand/implement on
bottom. Females who come to me, and that may indeed be different to females who seek out a male
spanker, tend to need more of accountability and motivation toward real life goals. With males, I find that
spanking is often more directly connected to their early ideas of sexuality and there are many more
requests for role play.
Pretty universally, however, whether holding a client accountable for specific behaviors, motivating one
towards goals, recreating a memory or creating an experience they wish had happened, there is always
the need for a caring, compassionate conclusion, not a sexual based conclusion. A good hug being told
that all is forgiven, etc. That, for me, defines domestic discipline.
Of course, as a professional spanker, I don't become involved in any sexual expressions in this area, but
I don't think it can be denied as an aspect in some cases. When working with couples who are working
toward a Domestic Discipline relationship, I discourage combining a sexual encounter at the same time
as a discipline experience. Nor do feel it right to administer discipline in the heat of anger etc.
That may be more of an answer than you were looking for, lol.. Simply put if any visible indication of
arousal presents during a session, I ignore it, unless having it pointed out and scolded for it is desired as
part of the experience. As always, your mileage may vary.
Take care, Auntie Rhi