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Ask Auntie

Below are a couple of letters I've gotten and even further down are some Commonly asked questions. If you have a specific question , feel free to drop me a note. You may not be there only person who has that question. Of course, the only silly question is the one not asked.

Auntie Rhi,

I hope you're capable of stricter discipline than shown on the 2 trailers on your web site. Paddling over clothes and a light switching are a total waste. Maybe appropriate for a 6 year old but useless for an adult male.  Strict Gram


Well... thanks for your perspective. With all due respect, the severity of a spanking, I deliver for a client, is dependent on the tolerance of the specific client and/or what type of spanking they deserve. I'm sure you have your own methods, however, I spank a variety of people and have found that what is and what isn't a "total waste" is different for each individual. To each her/his own. If it is part of a behavior plan, a punishment session is very different.


Take care, Auntie Rhi


I found your site and found it to be most honest and sincere.  I am primarily an
understanding person willing and able to provide guidance, mentoring and discipline.  
While I have done so for several friends over the years, I don’t have many opportunities.  
When I have, I too have been adamant that the discipline provided is of a parental and
disciplinary nature and sexual behavior is not tolerated or in any way a part of the process.  
I have however experienced situations where my charge has become aroused.  Have you had
this experience and if so, how have you handled it?
R.(male spanker)

Hi R,
I am glad you enjoyed the web site and thanks for the compliment.

You pose a complicated question. Strictly physically speaking, there can be a case made
that since the "sit spot" area is fed by the same nerves that supply the genitals, stimulation
by spanking would naturally create a sensation in that area. So it's not entirely a surprise.

Of course, everyone is unique in their own needs, for this experience and fine tuning. Many
psychology scholars still feel that all children's natural first inkling of sexuality revolves
around their opposite sex parent. Not in a perverted way at all, but naturally how they
begin to view, experience and come to see as a role model for that specific male or female

In my experience, the emotional connection is every bit as intense as the actual
hand/implement on bottom.  Females who come to me, and that may indeed be different to
females who seek out a male spanker, tend to need more of accountability and motivation
toward real life goals. With males, I find that spanking is often more directly connected to
their early ideas of sexuality and there are many more requests for role play.

Pretty universally, however, whether holding a client accountable for specific behaviors,
motivating one towards goals, recreating a memory or creating an experience they wish had
happened, there is always the need for a caring, compassionate conclusion, not a sexual
based conclusion.  A good hug being told that all is forgiven, etc. That, for me, defines
domestic discipline.

Of course, as a professional spanker, I don't become involved in any sexual expressions in  
this area, but I don't think it can be denied as an aspect in some cases. When working with
couples who are working toward a Domestic Discipline relationship, I discourage
combining a sexual encounter at the same time as a discipline experience. Nor do I feel it is
right to administer discipline in the heat of anger etc.

That may be more of an answer than you were looking for, lol.. Simply put, if any visible
indication of arousal presents during a session, I ignore it, unless having it pointed out and
scolded for it is desired as part of the experience.   As always, your mileage may vary.

Take care, Auntie Rhi


Answers to Some Often Asked Questions

1. What is your favorite implement?

That's difficult in that over the years I have amassed quite a collection as you can see in the
Gallery in the Implement folder. “The right tool for the right job” my Grandpa use to say.

2. What's your favorite scenario?

That's easier, I enjoy the variety, and most of all enjoy creating the scene with the intensity
that the naughty boy or girl will best relate to.

3. What's the most severe spanking you've ever given?

I have found that “severe” is very different to each individual. I don't have a preconceived
notion of how severe a person must take, and yet, again I want it to be as intense as the client
desires it to be. There have been a few occasions that I have stopped a session before the client
was really ready for me to stop. Always based on the condition of the bottom. I don't want to
break the skin, nor even have it weeping.. or there is the condition knows as leather bottom,
where the bottom becomes swollen and takes on an orange peel texture. At that point it's numb
anyway. The condition of the bottom is important to me regardless of whether you have opted
for “light red fading after a short time” or “marks and bruises lasting several days” and
anywhere in between. That's why I don't spank, very long, with pants or undies up... I need to
see your bottom to be able to ascertain how the session is going.

4.  There seems to be several ways to administer a mouth soaping (dry soap in mouth, making
the disciplined wet soap their own mouth, Auntie wet soap washing the mouth out, etc.). Do
you believe in administering mouth soapings?  How would you wash my mouth with soap for
lying about rummaging through your panty drawer?

I do believe in mouth soapings. Usually what I do, is wet a small bar of ivory soap under the
faucet and then have the naughty boy hold it in his mouth for a specific amount of time. Some
of which is spent listing to a scolding for lying, or foul language, or disrespect, what ever the
offense. I have on occasion used liquid soap and a washcloth squirted the soap in the washcloth
and proceeded to run it on the inside of the naughty boy's mouth and on his tongue, Ms. Betty
taught me that one. Both are very effective.

5.  What is your favorite implement to punish naughty boys and girls?  My fantasy implement
is the wooden hairbrush (especially the Vermont Country Store Brush) followed closely by the
wooden spoon and then hand.  The switch too for some reason although the cane does not
"excite" me at all for some reason.  Something about the dread coming over you when cutting
your own switch.

I'm kind of like a mechanic, I prefer the right tool for the right job, lol. However, I generally
give a good warm up with my hand to just about everyone, then go to a brush or other small
paddle type implements. I love having a boy cut his own switch for just the reason you stated....
there is an anticipation that cannot be matched with anything else. Also the back of the legs is
the best place to use a switch. I learned that from my Granny, lol.

6.  Do you believe that naughty boys and girls should, at all times, show Auntie respect by
answering her questions with a Yes Ma'am or No Ma'am?  If it doesn't matter to you I would
like to have it told to me in the session and reminded when I fail to do so.  Would there be a
consequence for each infraction?  What would be the punishment?

Absolutely, I think boys and good, should at all time, respond to their elders with yes ma'am or
sir.. if not they are naughty and in a situation where they are already being held accountable
would receive 5 swats with each failure to respond appropriately.

7.  I know, when reading about spanking experiences, that spankees often say they cannot cry
as a result of their discipline.  I have always felt that not only tears but a good sobbing should
come by the end of a good session over the knee.  Do your typical naughty nieces and nephews
cry or sob during a discipline session?  And do you believe that real tears SHOULD be a part
of a true "lesson learned"?  In one of my previous sessions, the Disciplinarian (who was really
more of a mistress than a mommy or auntie) stopped when I was on the verge of tears.  I really
want to know what it feels like to reach the point of losing complete control of my emotions and
truly feel the loving effects of being punished for my misdeeds because someone cares enough
to discipline me.  Real tears should not be the ending but rather the "beginning" for the
Disciplinarian to know that I am truly sorry and will try not to do that misdeed again.  I
believe that uncontrollable sobbing will actually validate that someone really cares.  Not sure if
this is really something that I can obtain but would like to.  Any thoughts on this Ma'am?

Tears are a real individual thing. Some people cry easily, some are able to cry after a relatively
emotional spanking, and some people try their whole life to be able to let go enough to cry. I
don't "require" tears any more than I "require" a certain severity. I tailor each experience to
the individual. I believe that tears are much more tied to the emotional involvement than to
just the pain. Especially with males, there seems to have to be some underlying guilt that they
associate with the spanking at hand, the need to release that guilt. I do believe that crying is
very cathartic and it can be very good for the ones that are able to achieve it. Even with out
tears, many times people feel that a weight has been lifted as they have been punished and no
have a clear slate again.

8.  How do you feel about "taking someone by the ear" or "ear pulling" or whatever is the act
of grabbing the naughty one by the ear and taking them to the corner or the punishment chair
or whatever?  I believe this is essential when someone is caught "red handed" misbehaving and
immediate punishment is forth coming.  Do you use this technique?  If so, when?

I've used ear puling, or grabbed an arm or just ordered the person to the bed room... again it's
an individual preference. Just like most want me to pull down their pants and undies but a few
want me to tell them to do it. Some want to be ordered to undress entirely and some really like
the experience of pants at their ankles. I also use a chair, or a bed, generally start otk either
way the second phase might be over the back of a chair or standing at the table.. ..again it's all
individual driven.

9.  What are your thoughts on Corner time?  Do you use it before, during or after....or a
combination of one or all?  I believe that a good hug should follow a disciplinary spanking but
is it before corner time?  After?  Do you have a penalty for looking around while in the
corner?  What about rubbing?  Or talking?  And what is the punishment?  Additional swats?  
A new session with a paddle or belt?

I tend to use corner time between sessions of spankings, so I don't hug till the end. There is no
looking around, talking  nor touching of the bottom while in corner time. Since it in the middle
the naughty person knows there is more coming, they don't tend to get out of line, lol.

10.  Scolding.  This is probably the most important aspect of the discipline session for me.  A
good scolding can get someone in the proper mindset for the discipline.  I am sure you scold
but do you give a good one before the spanking?  After too?  During the spanking?  Also, do
you tell the naughty one what is going to happen next like "you are going over my knee for a I
were ever to be so lucky as to have a permanent Disciplinarian, I would hope that scoldings are
developed so that I am in tears before I am actually over her knee.  I prefer there to be no
yelling just good firm talking with finger pointed, etc.  Do you stand over the naughty boy/girl
while they are sitting?  What is your style?

Yes I do scold and try to tailor the scolding to the clients needs. I'm not a yeller, just firm
scolding reminding the naughty individual of just what brought them across my lap. That can
continue during the spanking or not, as people prefer that both ways.

11.  Do you prefer OTK/over the lap?  What are your other preferred positions?

Again I tailor the experience to the individual. I have done otk with me in a chair, over one
knee on the bed for upper body support, standing, over a desk or table. I like the variety so
many options are available.

12.  I was wondering if you had someone that lives with you that you discipline for regular life
transgression?  (I am not hinting that for myself).  If so, what are some of the things he/she is
disciplined for and how often do you punish them?

I do not, currently, have anyone that lives with me, but it would definitely be part of our

13.  Do you get many requests from naughty girls?  I do not know if there are very many ladies
seeking this sort of thing.  How many do you think you have disciplined over the years?  Are
you just as strict with them?

I do not have near as many female clients as I do men but over the years probably 10 or so. I
have two currently that are in behavior plan programs so come regularly. I am just a strict
with them.

14.  Have you always had this interest?  When did you administer your first spanking?  I
assumed that you were spanked by your Granny.  When was your last time over someone’s
knee (I am not a switch just curious, I would like to think that Disciplinarians have been on the
other side of the hairbrush at one time).

Except for a couple of spankings as a child I have not been on the other side of the lap, lol. I
started out in a pretty vanilla relationship. He asked ask if I could consider a domestic
discipline relationship and I had no idea, so I started doing research. Joined a couple of
groups, met a couple of wonderful spankers and went from there. The DD part was fine in our
relationship, but later he wanted full immersion into mother/ baby relationship, like diapered
24/7, baby furniture et al, and that wasn’t what I wanted in a LTR, so we parted company.

15.  Have you ever made someone write lines like "I have been very naughty......."?  If so,
usually how many lines?  Do you do it before the spanking or do you prefer the naughty one
doing them while sitting a red bottom?

I have used line writing as an adjunct to a spanking punishment, usually between phases of a
spanking so they are indeed sitting on a red bottom. The number, of course depends on the
severity of the infraction…  Some times I even make them sit on the "thinking mat" on their
red bottom which is a plastic mat with nubbies on it. Not a comfortable sit when your bottom is
sore. The number can vary

16.  Have you ever "grounded" someone as part of a session or in real life?

Not in a session as those are just an hour to 2 hours, but in a behavior plan, for sure. Being
grounded from computer except to talk with me, or only 1 hour of TV at night , it all depends
on what goal we're working on or what they've done to earn the punishment.

17.  You mentioned the girls you currently discipline being part of a discipline program, what
does that entail?  Do they report misbehavior to you and you determine the punishment?  Are
they subject to other things like mouth soapings?

A behavior plan is the same for male or females, in that we set up real life goals, rules,
consequences and rewards. It depends on what they need in their life and the consequences can
include mouth soapings as well as other types of requirements, like sitting on the thinking mat
any time they are at the computer. It's all individualized.

18.  I know you tailor discipline to the disciplinee but can you describe a typical spanking?  
How many with your hand in the warm-up, how many with the brush, etc.?  Just an estimate (if
you don't mind).

I really can't give you an estimate of how many swats I give with my hand or any implement. I
generally do start with the hand for a good bottom warming but how many that takes really
depends entirely on the person. To be honest I’ve never really counted in a hand spanking. I
watch the body language as well as the color and condition of the bottom and gauge the
intensity and duration based on those two cues. Even with the more severe implements, such as
the cane or school paddle, 6 for some is a lot and for others just a start.

19.  Have you ever spanked someone in public?  What about threatening someone with "when
we get home you are going over my knee" in front of a pretty young lady or something similar?

I have been in situations where I could do that. One time in front of a sales clerk. The boys face
blushed immediately and she looked surprised but kind of smiled, lol. I have spanked a naughty
boy in the back seat of the car in the parking lot at a mall a couple of times. We both froze
when a female security guard seem to be walking our way.... Didn't we, Frank… lol.

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